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Hoi
(We see Temmie enter the pineapple and SpongeBob and Patrick are playing on their Xbox) Temmie: HOI!!! guys, i just let myself in. SpongeBob: Cool. (pause) Wait, how did you let yourself in? Temmie: i karate chopped da door down. SpongeBob: (pauses the game) What the (censored), man? Temmie: hey, watch da language! SpongeBob: Huh? We swear like every episode! Patrick: And my mum always used to say, swearing is caring. SpongeBob: I thought it was sharing is caring. Patrick: Well how was I supposed to know? I didn't care enough to listen! Temmie: so, uh, WHAT game r u playing? SpongeBob: Oh, Battle for Bikini Bottom. Temmie: is tem in it? Patrick: No, you're right here. SpongeBob: Sorry Temmie, you're not in the game. Temmie: WHAT WE'RE THE DEVELOPERS SMOKING WHEN THEY MADE THIS? Patrick: Seaweed. SpongeBob: They weren't smoking anything, Temmie. You just didn't exist when the game came out and besides, this is based on the Nickelodeon show, not the Temmie Central one. Temmie: well dat's stupid! Patrick: It may be stupid but it's also dumb. Temmie: screw u guys! am gonna mak a video game better than any game nick can. (leaves) SpongeBob: So, you want some Cheerios? Patrick: Boo! (we cut to Temmie at his computer in his house) Temmie: so, how do i mak a game? (he opens up google and presses the 'a' key) seems simple enough. (we see a montage of him spamming the keyboard) i think i had a seizure. (passes out cut to next day at the Game Store, SpongeBob and Patrick enter) SpongeBob: Wow Patrick, I can't believe Temmie made a video game! Patrick: That's nice. (they look at the Top 10 board) SpongeBob: Wow! His game is the only game on the list! Wait, did he really make it for the Virtual Boy? (they approach the counter) We'd like two copies of Temmie and Temmy: Superhoi Saga for the Nintendo Switch.] Bill Cipher (as the employee): Sold out. SpongeBob: For the 3DS? Bill Cipher (as the employee): Sold out. SpongeBob: Wii U? Bill Cipher (as the employee): What's a Wii U? SpongeBob: Virtual Boy? Bill Cipher (as the employee): Wow, you guys are really desperate. Well, we do have two copies left for the PlaySta- (we see Robbie Rotten and O'Hare shoplift the last two copies) And they're gone too. Sorry, kids. It's just that a video game hasn't sold this fast since Sonic '06. Patrick: Wait, there's a game where Sonic can have s- (SpongeBob covers his mouth SpongeBob: Patrick! Kids watch this stuff! Patrick: Really? (the episode rewinds to earlier) Temmie: hey, watch da language! SpongeBob: Huh? We swear like every episode! (the episode fast forwards to the present) SpongeBob: Come on Patrick, maybe there's some second hand copies in CEX. (Patrick bursts out laughing as they walk out, cut to later as Temmie is walking down the street) Temmie: (hums to the tune of 'Never Gonna Give You Up' until he gets home and turns on the TV) Bill Cipher (on TV disguised as Perch Perkins): Breaking news! It has just been discovered by the FBI, MIB, the Illuminati and the nation's best team of forensic scientists that the brand new game that has sold over nine-thousand billion copies in just this country, Temmie and Temmy: Superhoi Saga, is exactly the same game as the Gameboy Advance game Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga but with a ton more Temmie. Nintendo has announced that they're suing the indie game designer Temmie, who designed the game, for plagiarizing their game. Boy, Japanese people can be furious. If Temmie loses, Temmie will be killed by none other then John Cena but if he wins, Nintendo will have to resign to an Indie company and have their butt kicked by SEGA. This is Perch Perkins reporting live for Bikini Bottom News. HA! BIKINI BOTTOM! WHAT SORT OF NAME IS THAT? HA! Temmie: i'll be sued? (he imagines himself as a knitted cardigan and rushes to SpongeBob's house and bangs on the door, SpongeBob answers) SpongeBob: Temmie! What is it? Are you still mad about the fidget spinners? Temmie: no! did u c the news? SpongeBob: Yeah! Isn't it great? Tracey's finally getting a storyline on EastEnders? Temmie: no! not dat! Nintendo's suing me! i'm so scared and i don't know what 2 do! SpongeBob: Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Even though it just aired a few seconds ago. But I think I could help you with your problem. What you need is a lawyer. (we cut to the court) Bill Cipher (disguised as the judge): (slams his hammer round a bit) Oh boy, an actual hammer! Cool! (coughs) I don't have much experience as a judge but I do have a lot of experience in taking charge. So, I have more authority than any other you imbeciles so please do shut up. Now, we are here today to discuss whether Indie game maker Temmie, who for some reason has his games on a disc, should give in to Nintendo as he ripped off their game. I don't wanna sound biased but we all know Japan people always win so let's call upon Mario's statement. Mario: He ripped off my game and got a-more money than me-a never did! It's so unfair! Sanic: As Mario's lawyer, I can say without a doubt that he is correct and Temmie should be stripped from all his rights and clothes. Bill Cipher (disguised as the judge): OK, then. Let's here from Temmie. Temmie: da events of this week r pure coincidence and should not b- SpongeBob: (butting in) Friends, delegates and fellow Americans: I humbly and gratefully accept your nomination for the presidency of the United States. Together, we will lead our party back to the White House, and we will lead our country back to safety, prosperity, and peace. We will be a country of generosity and warmth. (at this point the rest of his speech is sped up) But we will also be a country of law and order. Our Convention occurs at a moment of crisis for our nation. The attacks on our police, and the terrorism in our cities, threaten our very way of life. Any politician who does not grasp this danger is not fit to lead our country. Americans watching this address tonight have seen the recent images of violence in our streets and the chaos in our communities. Many have witnessed this violence personally, some have even been its victims.I have a message for all of you: the crime and violence that today afflicts our nation will soon come to an end. Beginning on January 20th 2017, safety will be restored. The most basic duty of government is to defend the lives of its own citizens. Any government that fails to do so is a government unworthy to lead. It is finally time for a straightforward assessment of the state of our nation. I will present the facts plainly and honestly. We cannot afford to be so politically correct anymore. So if you want to hear the corporate spin, the carefully-crafted lies, and the media myths the Democrats are holding their convention next week. But here, at our convention, there will be no lies. We will honor the American people with the truth, and nothing else. These are the facts: Decades of progress made in bringing down crime are now being reversed by this Administration’s rollback of criminal enforcement. Homicides last year increased by 17% in America’s fifty largest cities. That’s the largest increase in 25 years. In our nation’s capital, killings have risen by 50 percent. They are up nearly 60% in nearby Baltimore. In the President’s hometown of Chicago, more than 2,000 have been the victims of shootings this year alone. And more than 3,600 have been killed in the Chicago area since he took office. The number of police officers killed in the line of duty has risen by almost 50% compared to this point last year. Nearly 180,000 illegal immigrants with criminal records, ordered deported from our country, are tonight roaming free to threaten peaceful citizens. The number of new illegal immigrant families who have crossed the border so far this year already exceeds the entire total from 2015. They are being released by the tens of thousands into our communities with no regard for the impact on public safety or resources. One such border-crosser was released and made his way to Nebraska. There, he ended the life of an innocent young girl named Sarah Root. She was 21 years-old, and was killed the day after graduating from college with a 4.0 Grade Point Average. Her killer was then released a second time, and he is now a fugitive from the law. I’ve met Sarah’s beautiful family. But to this Administration, their amazing daughter was just one more American life that wasn’t worth protecting. One more child to sacrifice on the altar of open borders. What about our economy? Again, I will tell you the plain facts that have been edited out of your nightly news and your morning newspaper: Nearly Four in 10 African-American children are living in poverty, while 58% of African American youth are not employed. 2 million more Latinos are in poverty today than when the President took his oath of office less than eight years ago. Another 14 million people have left the workforce entirely. Household incomes are down more than $4,000 since the year 2000. Our manufacturing trade deficit has reached an all-time high – nearly $800 billion in a single year. The budget is no better. President Obama has doubled our national debt to more than $19 trillion, and growing. Yet, what do we have to show for it? Our roads and bridges are falling apart, our airports are in Third World condition, and forty-three million Americans are on food stamps. Now let us consider the state of affairs abroad. Not only have our citizens endured domestic disaster, but they have lived through one international humiliation after another. We all remember the images of our sailors being forced to their knees by their Iranian captors at gunpoint. This was just prior to the signing of the Iran deal, which gave back to Iran $150 billion and gave us nothing – it will go down in history as one of the worst deals ever made. Another humiliation came when president Obama drew a red line in Syria – and the whole world knew it meant nothing. In Libya, our consulate – the symbol of American prestige around the globe – was brought down in flames. America is far less safe – and the world is far less stable – than when Obama made the decision to put Hillary Clinton in charge of America’s foreign policy. I am certain it is a decision he truly regrets. Her bad instincts and her bad judgment – something pointed out by Bernie Sanders – are what caused the disasters unfolding today. Let’s review the record. In 2009, pre-Hillary, ISIS was not even on the map. Libya was cooperating. Egypt was peaceful. Iraq was seeing a reduction in violence. Iran was being choked by sanctions. Syria was under control. After four years of Hillary Clinton, what do we have? ISIS has spread across the region, and the world. Libya is in ruins, and our Ambassador and his staff were left helpless to die at the hands of savage killers. Egypt was turned over to the radical Muslim brotherhood, forcing the military to retake control. Iraq is in chaos. Iran is on the path to nuclear weapons. Syria is engulfed in a civil war and a refugee crisis that now threatens the West. After fifteen years of wars in the Middle East, after trillions of dollars spent and thousands of lives lost, the situation is worse than it has ever been before. This is the legacy of Hillary Clinton: death, destruction and weakness. But Hillary Clinton’s legacy does not have to be America’s legacy. The problems we face now – poverty and violence at home, war and destruction abroad – will last only as long as we continue relying on the same politicians who created them. A change in leadership is required to change these outcomes. Tonight, I will share with you my plan of action for America. The most important difference between our plan and that of our opponents, is that our plan will put America First. Americanism, not globalism, will be our credo. As long as we are led by politicians who will not put America First, then we can be assured that other nations will not treat America with respect. This will all change in 2017. The American People will come first once again. My plan will begin with safety at home – which means safe neighborhoods, secure borders, and protection from terrorism. There can be no prosperity without law and order. On the economy, I will outline reforms to add millions of new jobs and trillions in new wealth that can be used to rebuild America. A number of these reforms that I will outline tonight will be opposed by some of our nation’s most powerful special interests. That is because these interests have rigged our political and economic system for their exclusive benefit. Big business, elite media and major donors are lining up behind the campaign of my opponent because they know she will keep our rigged system in place. They are throwing money at her because they have total control over everything she does. She is their puppet, and they pull the strings. That is why Hillary Clinton’s message is that things will never change. My message is that things have to change – and they have to change right now. Every day I wake up determined to deliver for the people I have met all across this nation that have been neglected, ignored, and abandoned. I have visited the laid-off factory workers, and the communities crushed by our horrible and unfair trade deals. These are the forgotten men and women of our country. People who work hard but no longer have a voice. I AM YOUR VOICE. I have embraced crying mothers who have lost their children because our politicians put their personal agendas before the national good. I have no patience for injustice, no tolerance for government incompetence, no sympathy for leaders who fail their citizens. When innocent people suffer, because our political system lacks the will, or the courage, or the basic decency to enforce our laws – or worse still, has sold out to some corporate lobbyist for cash – I am not able to look the other way.And when a Secretary of State illegally stores her emails on a private server, deletes 33,000 of them so the authorities can’t see her crime, puts our country at risk, lies about it in every different form and faces no consequence – I know that corruption has reached a level like never before. When the FBI Director says that the Secretary of State was “extremely careless” and “negligent,” in handling our classified secrets, I also know that these terms are minor compared to what she actually did. They were just used to save her from facing justice for her terrible crimes. In fact, her single greatest accomplishment may be committing such an egregious crime and getting away with it – especially when others have paid so dearly. When that same Secretary of State rakes in millions of dollars trading access and favors to special interests and foreign powers I know the time for action has come. I have joined the political arena so that the powerful can no longer beat up on people that cannot defend themselves. Nobody knows the system better than me, which is why I alone can fix it. I have seen firsthand how the system is rigged against our citizens, just like it was rigged against Bernie Sanders – he never had a chance. But his supporters will join our movement, because we will fix his biggest issue: trade. Millions of Democrats will join our movement because we are going to fix the system so it works for all Americans. In this cause, I am proud to have at my side the next Vice President of the United States: Governor Mike Pence of Indiana. We will bring the same economic success to America that Mike brought to Indiana. He is a man of character and accomplishment. He is the right man for the job. The first task for our new Administration will be to liberate our citizens from the crime and terrorism and lawlessness that threatens their communities. America was shocked to its core when our police officers in Dallas were brutally executed. In the days after Dallas, we have seen continued threats and violence against our law enforcement officials. Law officers have been shot or killed in recent days in Georgia, Missouri, Wisconsin, Kansas, Michigan and Tennessee. On Sunday, more police were gunned down in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Three were killed, and four were badly injured. An attack on law enforcement is an attack on all Americans. I have a message to every last person threatening the peace on our streets and the safety of our police: when I take the oath of office next year, I will restore law and order our country. (the rest of it is sped up so fast you can't exactly understand what he's saying unless you've memorized his speech, the last few lines aren't sped up) To all Americans tonight, in all our cities and towns, I make this promise: We Will Make America Strong Again. We Will Make America Proud Again. We Will Make America Safe Again. And We Will Make America Great Again. THANK YOU! (the audience looks in shook) Bill Cipher (disguised as the judge): Wow, uh. We only really have ten minutes so let's cut to the verdict. Does Temmie plead guilty or not guilty? Robbie Rotten (as a member of the jury): Prince Temmie Temmie of Temopolis pleads not guilty, your honour. Mario: Hey, you owe me a small loan of a million dollars! Sanic: Uh, gotta go fast! (flees) SpongeBob: So, what did I tell you Temmie? Everything was fine. Temmie: u told me nothing along da lines of dat. besides, i've given up da video game market now. SpongeBob: Really? What are you going to do now? Temmie: more like who is tem going to do? (they laugh) SpongeBob's: That's really messed up. (end)